Chapter 7

Eddie decided to walk the last half mile home. The cold air would clear his head and he could walk past the corner and hopefully score some weed. Of course he could always arrange to get pot delivered to his door but as soon as they knew who they were delivering to the price of an ounce always went up a third. Eddie might have been a billionaire but he still wasn't prepared to get ripped off by some college grad growing poor grade skunk in his step-dads greenhouse. He turned his iPod up loud to drown out the sounds of the crowd. Everywhere he looked people were rushing around making preparations for Christmas. What was wrong with them? he thought. Have they never heard of Amazon? Eddie couldn't even remember the last thing he bought from a shop that wasn't cigarettes. Come to think of it he couldn't remember the last time he had bought cigarettes either. They were just always in his pocket. He probably had someone on his pay role who did that for him. He reached into his pocket now and discovered he had none left. He swore and decided he would fire the person responsible for buying his cigarettes as soon as he worked out who it was and walked into the nearest shop.

He went straight up to the counter and asked the young girl for a packet of Marlboros and a lighter. And a diet coke. She gave him a quizzical look.
'Err..'
'What?' he was getting exasperated. 'You don't want to see my ID do you? I'm 35 years old for fucks sake!'
'No it's just...we don't have any Marlboros.'
'Sold out I suppose. Typical. Fine give me a packet of B&H then. And make it a normal coke. Screw the diet.'
'Err we don't have any B&H either.'
'Whats wrong with your stock manager woman? Just give me a packet of cigarettes god dammit!'
The manager came over to see what all the fuss was about and recognised Eddie immediately.
'Mr Scrooge it's an honour. Me and my kids are huge fans. Melissa what's the problem with Mr Scrooges order?'
'I'll tell you the problem (he checked the mans name tag) Larry. I've come into your store and asked for some cigarettes and a coke. Not too much of an ask I don't think and this joke of a sales assistant seems to find it impossible to find me either of these pretty common items in your vast store.'
The manager fixed Melissa with a steely stare. 'Melissa go and find Mr Scrooge a coke and a packet of cigarettes.'
But Larry we...'
'Now.'
She left without another word and was back in 2 minutes with a packet of Marlboros and a coke. Eddie gave her £10 and didn't wait for the change. 'Whats the name of this shop Larry? I shan't be coming back here in a hurry unless you speak to your service staff.'
'We're called Argos Mr Scrooge.'
'Argos ehh'. Sounds familiar.

20 minutes later. Larry was sat in his armchair with a rolled up joint drinking the only can of coke ever to be bought from an Argos. He was content. He would have an early night and be up at 6AM to give the world the best Christmas special ever. Uncle Jake would have been proud. He gave Ms Cratchet a text telling her to make sure he had an Omega watch and Armani suit for the show and also to look into buying a small shop called Argos as part of his helping the community scheme. She text back almost immediately saying she would look into it and Merry Christmas Edward. He didn't bother replying. The weed must have been good because the next thing he knew he had woken from a doze as the embers had fallen onto his lap and burnt a hole in his trousers and the skin on his upper thigh.
'FUCK' he shouted and jumped out of his chair. The front door bell suddenly went but he ignored it assuming his butler would get it. Seconds later it rang again and he realised the butler had probably gone home for Christmas. It took him 5 minutes to remember where the door was and when he finally did and had slipped on his Versaci slippers he was feeling thoroughly pissed off and in no mood for carol singers. He swung the door open.
'Look we don't buy, sell or give any Xmas cheer here...
Standing in the doorway looking rather green and smelling like he had been dead for 7 years was the unmistakable figure of Jacob Robert Marley.
'It's fucking freezing out here Edward. You still got that single malt whiskey lying about?'
Edward Scrooge soiled himself