Interval

So we are around a third of the way through this little novella  By now you will have either stopped reading because you think it's shit, carried on as a sort of self harming commitment or maybe you actually quite like it and find it quite funny.

To those of you that have stopped reading I apologise. Maybe you were expecting less violence and more candyfloss. Maybe you just thought the language might of been slightly more complex. Sorry but Thomas Hardy I ain't. In fact if you have stopped reading then it doesn't really matter as you won't have got this far so I don't really care what you think. Cunts

To those of you that are still here then I felt I should address a few things. Firstly you might have noticed that some of the chapters (like this one) are rather short. This is because I wanted the story to be a light read. Something to read on your train to work or whilst having your lunchtime poo. I didn't want to spend 12 pages describing Eddie or Grahams facial features or what Eddies house looked like. Just enjoy it for what it is. A hugely violent slice of festive fun. Like Bad Santa but without a black dwarf.

Secondly I didn't want anyone to think that this book will have a depressing ending where everyone dies. Don't worry. A few people will die along the way yes but by the end there will be a definite resolution and what I believe is the happiest ending possible. It's certainly happier than the original ending which involved he ghost of Christmas present getting bummed by a bad guy I called the Holly Molester (he has thankfully been scraped).

So I just wanted to break the fourth wall and say thankyou for reading. It means a lot to me. Now get ready for the next chapter. Kick off your shoes, eat some cheese. Maybe loosen your trouser buttons or take off your bra. Pour yourself a glass of whatever alcohol you use to block out the misery of your life. Because the next chapter is about to begin.
In a moment
Any second now.
It's just coming
Here it is