Prologue: A quick word with the author

Hello. My names Tom or Thomas or Tommy or Tommy T. I'm a writer and the author of this novella you are about to attempt to read. Some of you may have read my previous work and so have an idea of what you are letting yourself in for. Some of you may have been recommended it by a friend or merely seen it on some website on which it has been published. No matter how you have found it I feel it is my duty to warn you about what you are about to experience.

I was tasked with writing something fun for Christmas. Something that really hits home what the holiday season is all about and will fill all the readers with festive joy. Clearly the people who tasked me with this had never read any of my work before. I sat at my computer and proceeded to write chapter after chapter of violence, swearing, sex, drugs and Muppets. As always I gave each chapter a quick re-read and spell check and then refused to change any of it. It might make the book come across as being a bit erratic and rushed but then that's half of the fun in my opinion.

While the following may not be to everyones taste I am confident that at least some of you will find at least some of it slightly funny. If not you can just stop reading it's as simple as that. No-one is forcing you and if they are then I do not condone it. Stand up for yourself and stop reading this garbage. Anyway, onwards and upwards. I present my version of A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens. With a bit of X Factor and Serial killing thrown in for good measure.
Just remember; No matter what, It's got to be better than 50 Shades of Grey hasn't it?


Merry Christmas


Tom Eydmann
December 2012

P.S This book was written in IMAX 3D. Put on your 3D glasses now.

 

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